~ pulling through ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Though with a happier and more balanced momma,

 we're doing a bit better than 'pulling through' these days.

Here's to more backyard wagon rides.

Here's to more giggle parties in the kitchen.

Here's to more genuine smiles and laughs.

~carrie~

~ swinging through the last day of january ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They raised their swings.

Laurel's pendulum moved at a different frequency,

perhaps more in rhythm with her heart.

And she began to pump and move on her own.

It caught me by surprise,

her calls for me to come watch her swing on her own.

I was standing at the kitchen window.

I could hear the pride in her voice.

Excitement.

She's been the only one who couldn't do it for a year.

Selfishly, my thoughts turned to myself.

How many times have I brushed off her calls to 

"come swing me Momma"?

It stings and burns my heart,

to have missed those opportunities.

To have intentionally and unintentionally missed those memories.

Please don't misunderstand:

I have spent plenty of time out there swinging them all.

Lots of wonderful moments, with me laughing and dodging between them.

But I want them to have memories of me gently pushing them,

of them laughing while we play that game we play,

of me laughing while we play that game we play.

Not memories of me walking away 

because I don't have time,

or because I am too overwhelmed by life.

My children are precious.

My time with them is precious.

I deserve to be happier.

I deserve to have a lighter heart.

~carrie~

~ adventure! and look who's growing up ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday we met with a few friends

at our local, favorite nature preserve

for more 70-degree F fun! 

We tromped through the open forest

to visit a nearby beaver lodge.

Longtime playmates have finally become friends.  

The kids were not ready to end the adventure, 

so they took off around the shoreline,

which has grown considerably in the last few years,

from creek to extension of the lake.

Little did we realize 

that we would actually get to see 

the beaver dam itself!

It was so beautiful, curving around to contain the water.

We found a 4x4 post that the beavers had utilized.

I believe it used to hold a (now underwater) wood duck nesting box.

Also, we found the mount that nature preserve staff

use to hold the motion-activated wildlife camera.

Tummies were rumbling, so we started back.

They snurkled under this fallen tree at the water's edge.

See the lodge?   

And see this little girl?  Laurel amazed me yesterday.

On the walk back, not only did she not want me to carry her,

she didn't want to hold my hand.

She didn't even want to walk where I had walked.

She wanted to make her own path.  

For those who know Laurel, this is a 180-degree change!

Can you spy a fish?

After lunch, we took a short walk around this loop trail.

Laurel had more surprises for me.

After holding her hand while she walked a (tall) retention wall on the trail,

she ran back to the beginning,

and wanted to do it without any help.

I walked beside her, because it is a 5-foot tall wall over pavement!

Look at Laurel go!  

I couldn't believe it.  

Until this moment, she would have wanted me to carry her.

Would never have dared to attempt this without holding my hand,

even then nervous, whimpering and giggling at the same time.

After hopping down, she wanted to run ahead down the trail,

to catch up with her friends.

She would turn back occasionally, 

to see if I was still there,

but kept running.

And I mean actually running, as evidenced above.

She hasn't ever really ran.

Even at 4 years old, she still toddles along.

Well, not anymore!

I had mixed feelings about this. Mostly, I am happy for Laurel. 

She is well below 'average' weight and far below 'average' height.

A while back, she told me that she didn't like that everyone called her "little". 

And it doesn't help that her twin sister Olivia is almost 4 inches taller, and 5 pounds heavier.

I know that it felt good for her to make her own way through the forest,

to walk that tall and scary wall independently, like all the other children,

and to run, RUN, down the trail like never before.

But seeing this new and completely different side of Laurel is a little sad for me too.

She is effectively the 'baby' of the family, despite being a twin.

And watching the last child go from being a toddler to a young child,

knowing our family is complete,

is very bittersweet for this momma.

But mostly, I'm happy for Laurel.

I could feel that her little big Spirit,

felt proud and strong today.

~carrie~

~ early december and birthdays ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***

I offer no explanation for my absence

other than I have enjoyed not being on the computer.

***

December was busy and fun.

We really wanted to make this holiday time 

beautiful and special for the girls.

Every year since we've been together, 

we have traveled to be with extended family.

(Unless you count the year I had 2 week old twins.)

Making the decision to stay home was difficult,

but we made the right choice.

We had a great month,

and our family celebration was truly magical.

We put up our tree.

This sweet picture of Daddy and the girls

was taken after the first of the decorations were up.

We also attempted a family picture.

(Sorry folks, I have Photoshop but don't feel like using it tonight!)

Blogger feels it knows better than I the proper orientation for pictures.

Ahem.

But here we have a toilet paper tube snowflake.

We discovered that many of our holiday decorations molded in the attic.

A helpful child decided that fresh arrangement needed to go into storage as well.

Another ahem.

Sweet picture of Lela and Laurel

Saint Nikolaus came to visit!

He left the girls some slippers, a holiday mug, a peppermint cane and booster seat.

Thank you St. Nikolaus - those booster seats were desperately needed!

This is a very, very special picture of me and Santa Claus.

Do you know why?

Since many decorations had to be thrown away,

we had no choice (heehee!) but to craft, craft, craft!

We made wrapping paper with potato stamps (in the background)

and here the family is preparing to make felt ornaments by wet felting in a form.

Here are our sweet ornaments!

(Thanks again Blogger!)

And in the middle of all that crafting and family fun,

a few days before the Winter Solstice,

came the 4th birthday of my twin babies!

Daddy made them each a set of walking blocks.

Aunt Bec sent them a lovely photograph (she took!)

Their GG sent a sweet version of The Night Before Christmas,

illustrated by Jan Brett.

I needle felted them a tiny doll with a "4" on the front, and a heart on the back.

Happy Birthday Olivia!

Happy Birthday Laurel!

Lela's gift - a calendar for each of her sisters.

Laurel and Liv requested a catfish dinner, with pea and mashed sweet potatoes.

The catfish was locally caught, an added bonus.

Happy Birthday my sweet babies!

You are growing up so fast!

I still have pictures to share of our Winter Solstice lantern walk with our Waldorf families, and pictures from our family celebration.

~carrie~