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Someone found it and stuck it onto the bulletin board with a piece of tape.
A little EKG sticker.
Lost in the junk drawer.
A little over a year ago, at 3 o'clock in the morning,
I sat in my bed next to my sleeping partner,
peeling them off my chest.
The emergency room triage nurse had put them there,
and shortly afterwards she'd told me that I had anxiety.
But mostly she told me that I wasn't dying.
And that panic attacks were scary, but that was all.
I went on to have panic attacks several times a day, night, for the next year.
I cannot exaggerate how profoundly dark my life, our family life, was.
Then a simple test showed something in my body was out of balance,
and in a single day.......everything changed for the better.
I could weep with joy......except it is more fun to smile.
There is light in our home, in our hearts.
We are all breathing peacefully,
laughing more,
feeling frustrated less.
My eyes are not clouded with despair and tension has faded.
I notice little beautiful things all around.
My face is soft and prone to smiling.
We spread out into the backyard,
listening to the birds,
pawing for bugs and flowers.
My windows are open.
And the light is pouring in.
And out.
Once more I focus on the tiny little worlds around me.
My wonderment returns.
Today I celebrate 33 years on this beautiful Earth.
I am glad that I am here.
~carrie~
