~ music therapy ~

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I have witnessed the effect of music on my eldest; 

she lives the songs and their passion.

She sings like I do: mostly alto, searching for the harmonies and lost in the music.

But when the song she sings is a modern one, meant for adults, 

she sings the melodies with depth that she cannot understand.

Songs are often metaphors - metaphors that confuse literal children.

Her tiny and innocent voice repeats phrases and I wince.

And though I understand this, 

and have seen the (small) repercussions,

I have intentionally started listening to music throughout the day.

It is usually on my smartphone, since it is portable and quiet.

My mood and spirit are instantly and dramatically lifted by song,

and what better gift could my children have 

than a joyful momma?

~carrie~

~ swinging through the last day of january ~

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They raised their swings.

Laurel's pendulum moved at a different frequency,

perhaps more in rhythm with her heart.

And she began to pump and move on her own.

It caught me by surprise,

her calls for me to come watch her swing on her own.

I was standing at the kitchen window.

I could hear the pride in her voice.

Excitement.

She's been the only one who couldn't do it for a year.

Selfishly, my thoughts turned to myself.

How many times have I brushed off her calls to 

"come swing me Momma"?

It stings and burns my heart,

to have missed those opportunities.

To have intentionally and unintentionally missed those memories.

Please don't misunderstand:

I have spent plenty of time out there swinging them all.

Lots of wonderful moments, with me laughing and dodging between them.

But I want them to have memories of me gently pushing them,

of them laughing while we play that game we play,

of me laughing while we play that game we play.

Not memories of me walking away 

because I don't have time,

or because I am too overwhelmed by life.

My children are precious.

My time with them is precious.

I deserve to be happier.

I deserve to have a lighter heart.

~carrie~

~ big birthday weekend ~

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This weekend we gathered in Virginia to celebrate

the first birthday of a very special cousin!

It is incredible that a year as passed so quickly.

And now how big and sweet is this little girl?!?!

Our newest cousin is 5 months - he's adorable and has such a gentle personality.

\

My first cousin is a wonderful mama!

Their lovely home was decorated for the big day.

She made these cupcakes!

And they tasted even better than they looked!

It's always fun to gather with family, 

especially in celebration of such a special little girl.

Happy Birthday!

~carrie~